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My friend Will died recently. He and I met as freshmen at Ohio Wesleyan University and later reconnected when I moved to Atlanta. Will was a good man, a great friend and an excellent father. He was a gentleman, who always opened my door. He had a dry humor that would always make me laugh, sometimes inwardly, as he told me tidbits about the restaurants and buildings we would pass as we drove through the city. He’d say, “Oh, look at that! They have the best…” Or, “Did you know that was where so and so took place?”
Will introduced me to paella at LaFonda, homemade mojitos, sugar cookies with a bit of orange zest and fresh ginger. Mmmmm. I will remember playing Scrabble, the jazz concert at Centennial Park, and the two-hour wait at the Original Pancake House that he promised would be worth it. Although I didn’t treat Will badly, I could have treated him better. I took his friendship for granted, for I knew he would always be there. But, he won’t.
In his book, The Four Things That Matter Most, Ira Byock writes, ”Even after their death, people who have been most central in our lives naturally continue to influence our thoughts and feelings.”
Death is hard. It is even harder when there is conflict in the relationship or the last words said were words of anger. I am comforted knowing our last conversation was a good, long conversation. There was no conflict. We were, would have, and in a different way continue to be friends.
When the opportunity for conflict arises within my relationships, I am reminded of my mother’s words. She’d ask, “Lisa, do you want the relationship or do you want to be right?” I encourage you to tell the people in your life what they mean to you. If you love them, say so. Reach out to repair the relationships in your life. Do you want the last words you said to be the last words you’ll ever say?
Today, on what would have been Will’s 41st birthday, I offer this post as a tribute to him. Happy Birthday, Will. Thank you for the pleasure of knowing you and the ability to call you my friend.
Posted by It's Not Really Random 
